After the NHL announced that All-Star starting lineups represented just two teams each from the Eastern and Western Conferences, Commissioner Gary Bettman reported a record number of complaints from GMs of all teams. The most common opinion was that more teams should be represented, while GMs from the Penguins, Canadiens, Ducks, and Blackhawks all argued in favor of stocking their respective conference squads with players only from their own teams.
After much debate, Bettman decided that there could only be one fair solution. Revised All-Star starters are as follows:
Eastern Conference
G - Barack Obama
C - Barack Obama
F - Barack Obama
F - Barack Obama
D - Barack Obama
D - Barack Obama
Western Conference
G - Barack Obama
C - Barack Obama
F - Barack Obama
F - Barack Obama
D - Barack Obama
D - Barack Obama
Bettman also announced that Obama has complete control over the reserves for both of his teams. Early signs point to both sets of reserves being occupied by Barack Obama.
The SuperSkills competition will be more or less skipped this year. Instead the titles for Fastest Skater and Breakaway Challenge will be awarded to Barack Obama by default. The titles for Hardest Shot, Most Accurate Shot, and the new Gatorade Elimination Shooutout will be given to John Wilkes Booth.
1 comments:
The Booth comment at the end was just too perfect.
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