Canucks get jobbed at Jobing.com.

The only cool thing about the Canucks/Coyotes game last night was that the Glendale arena was called "The Jobing.com Arena." I'm, of course, counting the fact that it was on TV as a negative thing because of how awful the contest was. Yes, I spent my Saturday night watching a 1-5 drubbing that the out-of-the-playoffs Coyotes laid on my Vannies as the season winds down. It was a game where craziness abounded, Luongo was benched, and Alex Burrows found a way to score his ninth goal in ten games. 

First off, the five goals allowed were the most given up by the Orca since January 28, when they were knee deep in losses. Now, are you ready for the run down of the horror? Here we go: 1) Daniel Winnik scored on a wrist shot at 14:05, and it was a pretty fair goal to let in, I guess. 2) Shane Doan took a deep wrister from up against the boards that somehow found its way past Lu. 3) Former Canucklehead Ed Jovanovski blasted a power play slapper through Luongo for the 3-0 lead just 3:25 into the middle frame. 4) Here is the best one: Viktor Tikhonov got credit for an empty netter with 10:30 gone in the second period of Luongo skated to the bench on a delayed penalty. I mean, I replayed this like three times just because it never happens (NEVER!). Tikhonov himself got called for hooking, he touched the puck inside the Canucks' zone, but didn't get control of the puck to cause a whistle. Shane O'Brien attempted to poke the puck away, and the puck started slid back toward the empty net. O'Brien skated his brains out to try and stop the puck before the craziness happened, but he slid into the net just after the rubber, and the craziness did happen. 5) Matthew Lombardi scored a funny one against LaBarbera after Lu got pulled. The Barbarian skated way out of the crease to try and stop Lombardi, but the Coyotes forward was able to go around the 'Nucks keeper and put it in for the 5 goal lead after 3:13 ticked away in the third period. At this point, most 7th Canucks are thinking, "Mercy rule?" Luckily, my boy Alex Burrows would help the Orca save some face with an 18:15 goal past Ilya Bryzgalov to dirty up the clean sheet. The puck bounced hard off the board and right back to AB who nailed the goal as he was falling to the ice. Drunken Canucks fans at the Jobing.com arena promptly went nuts, so the Canucks didn't have to. Classy in defeat. 

After a loss like that, I can't really complain about the three stars all being from Phoenix. So, because of that, I'll just offer up my Canucks player of the game: Kyle Wellwood and his 100% face off margin going 7 for 7. He was also man enough to serve the bench penalty for too many men on the ice. One reason the Canucks didn't play well was the myriad of ridiculous penalties we took. Shane O'Brien got called for the puck deflecting off of his raised glove and over the glass (delay of game), yet another too many men penalty (coaching problem), Shane O'Brien earned a roughing (for punching Zbynek Michalek after a play, like a dummy), among others. O'Brien had to have one of his worst games in recent memory. This brings me to a new feature I'm bringing to the blog: The LSF Irish Slang of the Post (or LSFISP, for short). Today's Irish slang is Back doors kicked in, which is slang for "the act of anally raping a man." Example: "Man, Vancouver really had their back doors kicked in last night." Feel free to use it. 

As long as we don't look to far into the future, we can say that the loss last night really didn't hurt us that bad. At 38-24-9 (85 points), Vancouver are still just -3 of Calgary in the Northwest, and still lead fairly well at +6 of the Oilers, +11 of Minnie, and still +21 on Colorado. Bigger picture, things got a little worse. Jon's Blackhawks took back over in the teeter-totter of the 4/5 spot, and now sit +2 on the Canucks. Looking in the rearview, my boys lead #6 Columbus by 3, #7 Edmonton by 6, #8 Nashville by 8, and #9 St. Louis by 10. With 11 games remaining for Vancouver (11 for Chicago, 11 for Calgary, 10 for Columbus, 11 for Edmonton, and 10 for Nashville, in case you were wondering), things are really getting serious baby. This scary end of the season road trip continues on Tuesday evening against the recently ailing Dallas Stars (who have slid out of the playoffs since the last time they lost to my boys). Let's turn it around and make the final 11 a good time, eh?

Once again there was no advice provided from my fellow bloggers about who I should push forward in the first ever "My Favorite Celtic Tournament," so again I go it alone. I now present the championship matchup:

Glen Davis v. Eddie House 

(losers in the final four were: Mikki Moore and Leon Powe; losers in the elite eight were: Kendrick Perkins, Rajon Rondo, Brian Scalabrine, and Bill Walker). 

I hope you've enjoyed my trek toward picking a new favorite C, and keep in mind the final matchup will be seriously determined based on performance against the hated Clippers tomorrow night. Beat LA!